Qualified, but not suitable.

“Triple-major Bachelor degree” sounds pretty fancy ay? Then you add a National Certificate and Diploma on top of that and you have the start of nice, little résuméThat’s what my tertiary institutions assured me and that is what I believed. But I don’t think it is working for me at all right now.

Grad full body shot.jpg                                             (Hopeful University grad. Circa 2016.)

I am in the middle of the job application process… yeah you know, joining the adult world and stepping away from study’s comforts to make your own way in the world. You know what, the real world isn’t proving to be easy to navigate. I stepped into unemployment with the notion that I would apply for any job in my city and then from there once I have a secure income, I would be more picky about what kind of job I would change to. I thought that was a reasonable request.

My course finished 28 days ago and all the progress I have made is a lot of applications that businesses replied to with the pre-written, corporate response that thanks me for my efforts, but they found someone more suitable. Oh and that one interview where the boss just told me I wasn’t suitable for the job after two minutes of the process.

Now I understand I am having a bit of whinge, unemployment is a reality is a modern job market and I don’t know when I was expecting to be successful. But maybe its the fabled BA curse, you know the one where a Bachelor of Arts is unemployable… everywhere it seems.

My point here is I don’t know if I can wait that long with nothing to do. Talking to people, three months unemployment is pretty standard.  I don’t think I have two months worth left of cupboards that need to be cleaned out. Everyone knows not matter how bored you get, you will never get bored enough to clean the oven…. I am currently living in the fear that I might actually do that… I don’t want a clean oven, I am racing against the clock where the holes in my shoes are slowly getting bigger and need to replaced.

19243584_10203167467665399_425910340_o.jpg                                                      (Shoe is worsening state.)

At the rate I’m going when I finally get an interview, I will pairing my blazer with a pair of chucks that barely holding themselves together which I suppose in a way will be quite poetic. Wish me luck.

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“So, what did I do to piss you off?”

“So, what did I do to piss you off?”

Deep breath, Alannah, deep breath. Nope – bugger it, she asked for it.

“You come home and leave all your shit over every surface in the living room, so there is nowhere to sit. You stack stuff in the dishwasher awkwardly on top of each other so nothing gets washed. Leaving toilet rolls on the floor and malting hair everywhere. I mean everywhere, the living room, all over the shower, my room, in my food and even clinging to my clothes when I haven’t seen you in days!”

And then deep, awkward silence. And now I think about it, our flat has been suffering this crippling awkwardness a lot recently, probably due to the fact that we’re all at the business end of our collective studies. The stress and irritation levels are off the charts, and, well, this happened. I started coming to terms that I would have to start looking for a new place to live (bit gutting for me; view is pretty sweet, room is set up AND the apartment even comes with a juicer). Then, she started laughing and said, “Oh yeah true, I see that. To be honest, I expected a lot worse haha!”. I was in the clear! I started to take a sigh of relief and then she hit me with “Now we’ve got that out of the way – what do you like about me?

Just so you know – if you’re ever asked this question, do not, under any circumstances, hesitate, and if you do – certainly do not laugh. I did both, and I can safely say it was the worst response ever.

If any of you have been in this situation and you hesitate like me, you have already lost.  I wouldn’t be surprised if I was sleeping on the metaphorical ‘you effed up’ couch of friendship for at least a week or so.